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    Infra Language

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  • Are You Credible?

    Are You Credible?

    People judge your credibility from three perspectives.

    Your character, competence, and charisma.

    Here’s how to be perceived as more credible.

    People judge your credibility through their senses. Primarily, they will see and hear you.

    So, you must appear and sound credible. Here’s how to do it…

    To look like you have a good character, make sure you fit someone’s idea of a good character. You will have to look very different if you want to convince an audience of hipsters compared to an audience of wheat farmers. The iconic image of a good character for a group of Wall Street bankers will look very different to that for a bunch of Hollywood movie makers.

    Similarly, you need to sound right for those who are listening. If you are on a late-night TV comedy show, you may need to talk fast and add big spoonfuls of irony and cynicism. If you are speaking to a group of worshippers in a church on Sunday morning, you may need to speak with a slow, deliberate and deep tone.

    I’m not saying you should fake it. You have to fit yourself to your audience, and they have to fit you.

    When people are looking and listening, you will have to say things that demonstrate that you share their values. Even better if you have a more profound insight that they do in their normal workaday lives. Refer to a source of information that they trust. Make a joke that shows that you get what is real and what is not from their perspective.

    Once people sense and assess that you have sound values, you have taken the first step.

    Notice that, when they have looked and listened, their mind begins to calculate. Especially on those things you have said.

    Once you can show and prove that you share their values, the rest of the task becomes a little easier.

    To show people your level of competence, you can rely on your record. If that’s enough, you are pretty much on your way. Your qualifications, experience, or fame precede you. Fantastic.

    If you don’t have that to go on, you will have to show how competent you are. If you are a magician do your best trick with a scintillating sleight of hand. If you are a mathematician demonstrate your command of a complex formula. If you are a floor gymnast, perform a full twisting, double pike and land it with aplomb.

    You don’t have to demonstrate your competence all the time, just early on after your values have been established.

    Lastly, to appear to be credible, you have to show that you are charismatic. How do you do that? Turn back to people’s senses.

    Charismatic people usually appear to be dynamic and attractive.

    Dynamism is shown usually through physical or intellectual agility. That means you must seem to be active. You don’t have to be a gymnast (mental or physical). You can show your agility with your body by moving quickly and expertly. You could move your hands. You could even move your face. Anything will do, but you have to look like you are energized. You are showing that you’ve got that spark.

    Attractiveness is not as simple as looking beautiful, although that will help no end. Sometimes ugly people can attract attention because people assume they have an unusual character. So, being attractive is more about drawing people’s attention rather than just simply being nice to look at. Attractive is as attractive does.

    If you put those three elements together (character, competence, and charisma), the chances of people deciding that you are more credible will rise fast.

    I’ve got a couple more useful tips.

    You may notice that you are good at, say, two of those three elements but weak in one. Well, you better focus on the weak one and get that sorted.

    If you are great at displaying competence and charisma, you’d better start saying what your values are so that people can trust you. Otherwise, your effort will be wasted.

    If you are attractive but static, the classic ice queen (or king), you’d better start moving around so that people know you are alive and breathing. No-one watches a statue for long.

    Establishing credibility is one of the most important methods of creating your place in the world.

    No, that’s not true.

    It is the most important.


  • Your Family: define it and align it.

    Feet of two adults and baby in bed.

    What’s Your Family Really Like?

    Have you ever noticed that many families have a particular feeling about them? They share an atmosphere of interaction styles and personal history that can draw you in when you come into its orbit for the first time.

    Some families are photogenic. Some generate music. Some spend time discussing stuff. Others share beliefs: social, political, religious, or cultural. A family might be riotously emotional. Or, it might express itself by running marathons.

    It is not that the parents and kids are all the same: that’s unlikely. The family has enough focus on one type of expression for that to dominate. There are some members in the center of that expression and others on the periphery: rather like the sun and the planets.

    So, what’s your family like?

    You can use Infra Language to help you get the right answer.

    Give a value out of ten to each of the five Infra Language modes.

    All you have to do is answer these questions: How much does my family …

    1. focus on information? (Remember, that is likely to be something to do with the senses: seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting.)
    2. measure, evaluate, and make decisions?
    3. refer to their beliefs, attitudes, faith?
    4. express themselves emotionally?
    5. participate in physical activities?

    Imagine that your answers were: 4, 6, 2, 8, 8.

    That would mean that your family focus is definitely about expressing: emotionally and physically. Now, if one or two members are not so interested in their feelings and physical activities, they may be a little left out. They may not be all that interested in going on a long hike in the mountains with everyone else. (Or, they might bring a book or an iPad to keep themselves from getting bored.

    If you are the parent of a kid like that, you should push that third question above (the one that got 6 as a result) during the hike. Get your child’s brain working on measuring, evaluating, and deciding. Because you gave that question a value that was second highest, you’ll find the more outgoing members will soon join in and the family will hold together and be strong.

    To learn more about Infra Language, visit the Know More series. You’ll find lots of useful insights about your home, your neighbors, and even about your workplace.

    So, what’s the makeup of your family?

    Family around a campfire
  • Thinking: Doing focuses; emoting blurs.

    Thinking: Drill biting into wood

    When you focus on doing something, your thinking closes down. Or, rather, your thinking focuses on the job at hand. The end.

    Normally, when you think, it’s like wandering around YouTube: a treasure of information and learning. But, if you build, repair, or install something in the physical world, that action gives your brain a rest by just focusing on technical thoughts and doing stuff like hewing, gluing, and screwing.

    Just as feelings suppress thinking, action circumscribes thinking, as well. Both of the expressive modes (infeel and inforce) are powerful hombres.

    So, modes have an innate relationship with each other and, when one is fully in play, the makeup of that mode will dominate. Do modes have their own mode makeup? Clearly, they do.

    Earlier, I wrote, “… your thinking focuses on the job at hand. The end.” Notice the last two words: “The end.” We are talking about action that reaches a conclusion. That’s infer mode (reasoning to a conclusion) and infix mode (where we store our beliefs).

    For me, doing something physical is a relief. Right now, I am installing cabinets and benchtops in my laundry. I am ready to get back to my thinking job but, for now, I have to attach a splashback to a wobbly wall.

    I’m sure this cabinetry break will help hugely when I am back at my computer. Probably, I’ll be better focused on the job at hand. The end.

  • Geniuses Say the Craziest Things

    Frank Lloyd Wright House

    What a crazy thing to say. And, it was said by a brilliant, creative architect, Frank Lloyd Wright.

    Why did he believe that? Could it be true?

    Maybe, he proved it through his work. 

    It can be too glib to say, “Just because you believe it doesn’t make it so.” I agree. But, in your own life, those things that you really believe about yourself often do come true.

    If you believe that you are a deeply happy soul, there is probably a good chance that state of bliss will arise. If you deeply believe you will succeed, I would bet you will, no matter what.

    So, why not believe the best about yourself? There may be precious little else you can control in your life, but you have a good chance of controlling yourself.

    Give it a try. I’m working on such things right now.

  • Don’t Judge!

    Man being judged

    We judge from the perspective of our values. To refrain from judging involves ignoring our own experience.

    Infra Language shows us that our values are built, bit-by-bit, from our experiences. Those experiences create conclusions that accumulate until they become beliefs.

    You hear people say: “Don’t judge.” Sometimes, they really mean: “Don’t judge others negatively.”

    But, judging positively or negatively is still judging. And, to refrain from judging must mean that we deny our own experiences and conclusions.

    Being too quick to judge can be bad, no doubt. However, judging carefully and compassionately is probably a positive. It helps us to refine our own values in a subtle and ongoing way that can lead us to greater wisdom.

    Maybe we should dump that saying “Don’t judge people.” We could replace it with “Judge people slowly.”

  • Got a Message?

    Home screen of

    Have you received an iMessage, DM, post or email and wondered what they really think and feel?

    DeepWord analyzes that text and tells you what is REALLY in their mind.


    DeepWord uses Infra Language to delve into the thinking behind the message. It will help you to response in the best possible way.

    So, take CONTROL.

    Visit DeepWord. Paste-in their message and learn more than you would ever expect.

    See my YouTube explanation of how to use DeepWord.

    Click on the image below.

    Got a Message? Thumbnail
  • One Word. Is it a noun or a verb?

    Some words pivot between naming and doing. “Focus” is one of them. It is the word that both Bill Gates and Warren Buffett used to describe how their success came about.

    If you use lots of nouns (names of things), your listener or reader will gather information and think about it. They start in info mode and slip over for a while to infer mode. They are comparing and contrasting. Measuring.

    Why? Because you set the context. You are naming things. It’s classic infer mode.

    If you use abstract nouns (names of ideas), they could turn off completely.

    They are okay with cat, hat and mat. But, once you start talking about experience, dependability, or knowledge, you’ll probably end up talking to fresh air (or someone who wishes they could get a breath of it).

    If you use verbs (words about doing), you set a context of activity. You encourage them to take action. To participate, they must do.

    Use verbs to describe. The view relaxes you. This coffee machine eases your day. Slide into the passenger seat and feel the luxury.

    Verbs encourage people to focus on action. So, the word for today (focus) really should be a verb.

    If your listener or reader needs to know more, stick with the nouns. Make sure everything is identified, measured and evaluated, to their satisfaction. The next step may lead instantly to a decision.

    So, focus on nouns and verbs. They set the context.



    Supporting Thought

    DeepWord can help you know how you are rating with nouns and verbs.

    Check out the “Wavelength” analysis. If it’s Analyzing and Appraising (infer mode), your nouns are dominating.

    If the “Wavelength” is Moving and Changing (inforce mode), the message is focused on action. Probably, the verbs are kicking along nicely.

    Let’s focus.


  • Ancient Bookstores: the sirens’ call

    Spanish street with bookstore

    “The bookstore had two differently shaped doors cut into an aging, black façade. Transfixed by the old-world charm of windows blocked in with antique books, he read the name: Librería Pérez Galdós.”

    “The Great Peace: Journey to the Heart”
    Francis Walsh

    Yes, there is something about bookstores. Irresistible.

    So, how about ancient bookstores? Magical and mysterious. Behind the counter you’ll almost always find someone who is so impossibly knowledgeable and inscrutable that you know you are in the right place to shift to another universe. And, that’s what you want. To fly away. To someplace else.

    That’s what Cole and Elin saw in my novel “The Great Peace:” something alluring and astonishing.

    The trouble was, by focusing on this object of desire they created an opening for a malicious character to attack them. It was Cole and Elin’s weakest moment.

    But that was just the start. It devasted Cole. But, Elin was exalted by its challenge. She would never surrender to malice. Never.

    The nasty character then faced the fight of his life. And, so did Elin.

    “The Great Peace: journey to the heart.”

    I’ll tell you the moment my novel is released.

    Do you love bookstores?

  • Their Hands Tell the Story

    Couple holding hands

    Sometimes, people’s hands are the most expressive part of their messages.

    It is fascinating and impressive to meet someone with marvellously fluid and expressive hand movements. If you watch fine actors and ballet dancers, you will see how subtle and insightful finger and hand positions and movements can enhance their character and deepen the story they are telling. Think about classical Indian and Balinese dancers whose iconic gestures speak with the profound impact of poetry.

    Infra Language provides a deeper insight into body language that I have always been searching for.

    When people clasp their hands, it means “I have concluded,” or “This I believe.” They have finished infer mode or they are in infix mode. The conclusion drawn in infer is the door to infix mode, and, probably, they sometimes overlap.

    You can see similar positioning of hands and fingers with people in prayer.

    So, watch their hands to know where people are in the Infra Language mode sequence.

    Chopping down or pointing often indicates info mode.

    Spreading or closing cupped hands suggests infer mode.

    Clasped hands or praying means they have probably reached an infer mode conclusion or they are now in infix mode.

    Hands wandering around the face or opening away from the body could be infeel mode.

    And, definitive, iconic positions, such as open palm forwards for “stop” and crooked finger curling inward repeatedly for “come here,” are classic inforce mode gestures.

    So, now you know what you have to say or do next. Empathize with them by joining in their current mode or influence them by taking them to the next mode in the Infra Language sequence.

    Speak to me with your hands so that I may know you.

    To learn more, see my self-improvement book, True Fluency in the store.

  • The Alhambra: Halfway to Heaven

    Doorway in the Alhambra overlooking Granada

    “After passing through the gardens of the blissful Generalife summer palace, the travelers floated into the Alhambra itself.
        Inside the building, the walls were covered with carved diamonds of alabaster, cascading, not from the ceiling, but from paradise itself. In the white marble courtyards, shimmering ponds mirrored filigree fountains that flashed and splashed in the sunlight. These were perfect little worlds of harmonious, mathematical proportion.
        This was the palace of the Moorish caliphate, when north African Muslims ruled al-Andalus. It sat high on the dominating hill, halfway between Granada’s warm earth and heaven’s cool, roiling clouds.
        When they were saturated with its magnificence, Elin and Dean strolled alone into delightful gardens. Water gushed in from the snows of the Sierra Nevada along ancient channels. It fed sprinklers that, in the warming day, left leaves wet and flowers glistening, waving in the slow, riding air. The soil was aromatic and sensuous.
        Elin breathed. “It’s incredible the Alhambra is still here. It could have easily drifted away.”
        “Magical. And, here we are, part of its … life. We are drawn to places that describe us.”

    Extract from “The Great Peace: journey to the heart”

    As if the confronting magic of the Alhambra was not enough, Elin and Dean experience another mystical strike that will change their lives, although they didn’t know it at the time.

    Please visit this extraordinary place at least once in your life. It hovers over the beautiful Spanish city of Granada. Above it are the snow-capped mountains of the Sierra Nevada. Below it, the land, particularly to the south, is dry and barren. But, here is an oasis of world class beauty, elegance and poise: a cool, shaded sanctuary for the soul.

    If you have been to the Alhambra, tell me about it. It must be the place on earth that is closest to heaven.